Wednesday, May 10, 2006
By B. T.
I had this dream before my dad passed away last year. I was at the circus, and he was standing on a real high ledge and there was a swing going back and forth. He put his arms out and jumps and doesn’t grab the swing. Everyone gasps, but I remain calm. He then continues to go across the tent and starts flying. Everyone is cheering and this man next to me says, “This is great honey, we totally got our money’s worth.” Then after flying up and down and around the audience he busts out of the top of the tent and flies away. Everyone gives him a standing ovation, and all I remember thinking was, “Dad can fly? No one ever tells me anything.”
I always wanted to be a trapeze artist when I was younger. I mean, I really thought it was going to be my career. I would hang upside down from the monkey bars every chance I got, until one day I fell on my face and chipped my tooth. My mother was so angry with me that she banned me from all the monkey bars. So, I would just hang upside down from my bed when every one was sleeping. My mother didn’t understand why I didn’t have the same aspirations like the other 6-year-olds. They all wanted to be teachers, doctors, fireman, but I remember after I told the class that I wanted to be a trapeze artist, everyone came up to me and told me what they really wanted to be. They didn’t really want to be doctors or scientists. They wanted to be lion tamers, jugglers, fire swallowers and even clowns. I even remember a boy who wanted to be a part of the Freak Show. Everyone wanted to join the circus because you get to be crazy and free. No inhibitions what so ever. For me there was something about flying in the air, risking your life, but always looking graceful. There was this famous trapeze artist named Manuel Hibrosa. He always performed without a safety net. I remember the light was illuminating on him when he stood on the ledge. He always had this calm look about him. Like he was thinking, “ If I fall, if this is my last jump and I fall and die, then so it will be. I accept it. I accept it, if I die tonight.” I would always cry after watching him on television. My older brother would always punch me in the arm afterward. Manuel looked so beautiful soaring in the air. I just thought, how beautiful is it that you can surrender yourself like that. How completely unselfish it is. My dad was very unselfish and he surrendered a lot to my mom, my brother, to everyone and to me. He was my very own Manuel Hibrosa.